1. |
Long Shot
02:50
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We’re all here searching for something,
Something we’ll never get.
If you’re still seeking perfection you’ll just
Wind up with more regrets.
I know that the road’s covered in glass
I’ll walk any way
Feet bleeding
Down a precarious path
Take a long shot on me
Take a long shot on me
Take a long shot
There’s no such thing as a safe bet
All we should expect is death
But until the day that I fade away
I’ll defend you my friend
I know that the road’s covered in glass
I’ll drive anyway
Tires bursting
Heart of mania & love
Take a long shot on me
I know that the road’s covered in glass
I’ll run anyway
Feet bleeding
Painting every city red
Take a long shot on me
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2. |
Consider It A Win
02:48
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By this age i thought I’d be dead and gone
I’m still figuring out what i fucking want
Overworked but don’t have a job
Paying rent but don’t have a home
What does that freedom cost?
Had a dream the other night that you were back alive
i don’t even blame you for the way you died
It’s a fucking chore sometimes
Even attempting to survive
When there’s no hope in sight
I don’t know what it means to go slow
and the speed is eating away at my soul
But deep down I’m hoping I’ll grow old
wish I could lie to you and say the world has changed
That people became better since you left this place
But it somehow just feels the same
Another inCel killed immigrants to save his made-up white race
And most days feel heavy from the weight of the world
And the weight of this skin and fat and bone
So I’m left here carving a space
for myself
Embracing the pain of this short existence
I don’t know what it means to go slow
and the speed is eating away at my soul
But deep down I’m hoping I’ll grow old
No i don’t want to hang myself today and i consider that a win
No i don’t want to hang myself today and i consider that a win
I remember when they prayed for you on the internet
I remember when all those prayers came and went
The next day we had one less friend
humans cling onto anything when they’re feeling helpless
There Are many days when I wish I had your guts
and the beautiful way you didn’t give a fuck
but it feels like sad fat luck
That I’m even alive
So I’m stuck accepting this present
I don’t know what it means to go slow
and the speed is eating away at my soul
But deep down I’m hoping I’ll grow old
No i don’t want to hang myself today and i consider that a win
No i don’t want to hang myself today and i consider that a win
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3. |
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Fought your way out of death so many times before
You convinced us that you’d become invincible
But now
We’re left kissing your crown
In a hospital
Wondering if
heaven’s at your fingertips
Did you touch
Heaven with your fingertips?
Did some innocence return to you?
Teenage tags by friends who are long gone
Blanket the East bay
Sometimes our scribbled names will survive
Long after our bones decay
Though the grays start to sprout around my face
You’ll remain young in my brain
Sweet & wild & childlike & brave
too giant for a grave
I wonder if heaven’s at your fingertips
Did you touch
Heaven with your fingertips?
If you touched Heaven with your fingertips
Did some innocence return to you?
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4. |
Teach A Rat To Fish
02:41
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History’s made
Then manipulated
Then forgotten
After being repeated Beaten into us endlessly
Until we start believing that there’s no other option
Until we start believing imprisonment is free
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep fighting
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep loving
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep breathing
One day we won’t
They say
“you teach a man to fish and he’ll gut you
Meticulously & swift”
With a “fuck you” ringing out through his lips
“Used to love you” you think
As blood pools up in your mouth
Painting teeth crimson
Fully Knowing that the buds on your tongue ain’t ever gonna taste freedom
Or a nice meal again
You’re not gonna get a bank bailout kid
on your own
Ever seen a heart of gold turn to stone ?
Ever seen a good man sell his soul to a Fed
Best friends to the end you were told
Yeah ?
On your own
Nothing is taking away the pain of growth
Nobody can step into your shoes and know
Even When they try to imitate or clone
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep fighting
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep loving
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep breathing
One day we won’t
Haven’t felt any fire in a while
If you love me then please just engulf me in flames
Nostalgia thick as Tarkovsky sitting on city hall steps in the rain
Buttoned up polo in a court room
Overpriced lawyer in a cheap suit
Surely buddy had a lot of words to say
until he got in front of a federal judge that day
So i wanted to rip every inch of skin off of those slithering snake faces
I’ve been holding back screams but the ptsd is just pounding away at me
as if I’m still feeling gun barrels touching my temples
been in therapy checking the mental
But deep in the center of my chest
Is nothingness
As I stare into green eyes of a devil
Their morals are malleable
greed for power is palpable
Watching prosecutors
Play a twisted game for victory
With the life of a human being
Like monopoly Property or puzzles
There’s no proper rebuttal
It’s cough up the money up or
Shut the fuck up
Now your husband or father is stuck a muzzle
with hundreds of dogs in a hole
Only waiting to get thrown a bone
While the wife’s working doubles
In hopes that the bank won’t go and put a lien on their home
Even after re-reading the history State violence leaves me in a state of disbelief
Nothing hits a man harder than seeing his family in tears while he’s copping a plea
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep fighting
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep loving
Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep breathing
One day we won’t
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5. |
If I Woke up
03:11
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If i woke up
If i woke up
With a new face
Would that be enough for you
to forgive me
For my mistakes ?
Would that be enough for you
To give me another break ?
If i woke up
If i woke up
with a new brain
One that’s not
So self destructive
Focused on nothing
But death And pain
If i woke up
If i woke up
With a new heart
One That is flawlessly functioning
pumping blood properly
Not broken apart
Would that help you find
Some....
Some way
to love me Again ?
Would that help you find
Some…
Some way to love me
Again ?
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6. |
2020 BC
07:50
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Anyone absolutely certain that they understand everything
Hasn’t lived enough to know it’s impossible to come close.
Seek the good in humanity, right ?
Even if it’s a struggle most times
Is hate natural or were we trained to fight like some pitbulls ?
We’ve been locking jaws into each other’s backs well before Christ
Is That what it takes to survive ?
Who taught us how to survive ?
Fuck your neighbor to survive
Eat your neighbor to survive
We were hiding our faces long before pandemics arrived
Many have broken backs working for some charismatic demigods
Who raised minimum wages to build company loyalty.
Watched their employees die left and right
Bosses profits grew off of lost lives
As they smiled for media commending philanthropy
We’ve been glorifying wealth and greed and sociopathy
It was packaged and sold to us as the American dream
Splintered working class people to weaken our communities
fed us our sibling’s meat and convinced us that it was healthy
Then told us that we were born free
We were born free
To kill each other as we please
We were born free
We were born free to spread incurable disease
So much history manipulated by mythology
The crowds are growing larger
Frothing at the mouth
Gasping for air
Dogs barking in unison
Bursting throats open
Though no one hears
We are all
entrapped by fear
Of satan and god and fascist billionaires
Of gangs, pedophiles and radicals with beards
It's Hard to calm down all of them
Reactionary friends
Making funeral arrangements
50 years before their deaths
I know it’s true
The world they knew
Has changed
And it’s strange
to face what’s new
We have been grossly underfed for domesticated pets
Craving love and attention
Satisfaction’s hardly met
I know it’s true
The world we knew
Has changed
And it’s painful
to face what’s new
So Each Generation
Complains of the Youth
Saying things were much better then
Please Show more proof
Am i wasting my breath
Trying to Say Something ?
When apathy’s held me in
Captivity
With the rest of the pets
Growling at nothing
As long as we’re fed and entertained
We’ll sleep
Our brains all crave dopamine
Pounded by information shared endlessly
Between ephemeral memes,
Sexual fantasies,
Conspiracy theories,
Videos of bodies
that were Killed by police
trained to protect the power of ruling elites,
no justice on these streets,
Just more people screaming
screaming screaming !!!!!
Are we wasting our years
Putting faith in something
When we’ve always torn apart all that we’ve loved ?
From our hearts to our arms
To movements
To families
To each other
To the planet we all live on
This ain’t no song about peace
Those are easy to sing
But hard to believe
It’s tough to trust human beings
But don’t blame us
For how we were trained to be
We were only BORN free
We were only born “free”
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7. |
Nod Off
02:46
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What should this truth be ?
Should i lie to you ?
What should this truth be ?
Something edited for the romance of it all
The truth is that It can painful To be around you
The truth is It’s hard to cry for dead homies when their living was torture
I don’t have answers
I don’t got no good advice
Can’t write a song to keep you alive
Would love the only thing in your arms to be me, not heroin
If i could only convince you that life could be better than this
Wish people would stop complimenting you every time that you lose more weight
They tell you you’re so pretty but have no clue how your body got that way
Just fall onto my stomach
I’ll stop saying all these words
And just be there
For you to nod off on
just be there
For you to nod off on
Remember in your teens when you found your father’s crack pipe ?
The scent of chemicals lingers around you with your grandfather’s suicide
how dare you fall in love with anybody
When you can’t love your own life ?!
how dare you fall in love with anybody at all
If I had answers
If I had some good advice
Not sure that would even keep you alive
Would love the only thing in your arms to be me, not heroin
If i could only convince you that life could be better than this
Wish people would stop complimenting you every time that you lose more weight
They tell you you’re so pretty but have no clue how your body got that way
Just fall onto my stomach
I’ll stop saying all these words
And just be there
For you to nod off on
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8. |
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For this one last trick
Rip both of my lips off with a kiss
Saw me in half
Then send best wishes
If this is growing
Would Someone kindly teach me how to shrink,
Sprout wings and fly through the
Turbulence ?
Blankly staring,
Obsessing over all it could have been.
Weddings and kids, lawn gnomes in gardens
3 thousand miles of mountains & silence between us now.
The earth is on fire But we’re frozen stiff.
Sorry! sorry!
Repeat repeat repeat
Hardly ever thinking about what that means
Sorry! sorry!
Deceit deceit deceit
Give me an inch and I’ll destroy everything
Give me an inch and I’ll destroy everything
For this one last trick
Chop me into bits
Mold those pieces
into something that’s somewhat functioning
Teach me to live
Teach me to forgive
Teach me to think
Teach me to not love what will kill me
Sorry! sorry!
Repeat repeat repeat
Hardly ever thinking about what that means
Sorry! sorry!
Deceit deceit deceit
Give me an inch and I’ll destroy everything
Give me an inch and I’ll destroy everything
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9. |
Reminders
03:16
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Sometimes it’s not so complicated
Sometimes brightness won’t blind your eyes
Even the grotesque can create beauty
And death can remind us to survive
Always thought I’d have to fight for love in this life
Never noticed it was right by my side
So until the day i die
Promise I will try
To keep living with my eyes open wide
Sometimes it’s not so complicated
things begin and they end
Sometimes love’s not enough to keep us alive
There’s breath then nothing
Thank the trauma
Thank the exorcisms
Thank obstacles in our path
Thank you all for the constant reminder
of flaws
Thank the pain of our past
Always knew I’d have to fight for love in this life
Even if it stood there right by my side
So until the day I die
Promise I will try
To keep living with my Eyes open wide
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10. |
Lucky To Know
01:37
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I was lucky to know you
You made this world a better place
I was lucky to love you
You made my heart a better place
When the anger finally flushed from my system
And denial quietly walked out the room
I was left alone with my thoughts
Sweet, pretty, painful, bleak, dumb thoughts
& realized
I’d never be me without you
That every moment shared was actually special
From the mundane
To your death day
That made me too
I was lucky to know you
You made this world a better place
I was lucky to love you
You made my heart a better place
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Fake Four Inc. New Haven, Connecticut
Fake Four Inc. is a record label based in New Haven, CT that specializes in experimental hip hop, indie pop and anything else we like.
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