Sad, Fat Luck

by Ceschi

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artbytai
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artbytai Ceschi & all of Fake Four line up, str8 🔥🔥🔥🔥!
Joe Campbell
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Joe Campbell wow. i absolutely loved broken bone ballads, so I was a bit nervous listening to this. how do you follow up to a nearly perfect album? sad fat luck is the answer. life has been cruel to ceschi since his last album in 2015 and he holds true to the cliche about suffering creating great art. this album is truly amazing from start to finish. an absolute emotional masterpiece. this is an instant classic. buy all the hard copies and go see him live, his performance and energy are unlike anything else. a truly memorable experience. its very bittersweet to know theres only going to be 2 more ceschi albums after this but I fully trust he knows what hes doing
OsirisRa
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OsirisRa A technical masterpiece. The emotive expression on this album is matched by few in hip-hop. Favorite track: Sad, Fat Luck.
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1.
Lost Touch 03:22
LYRICS Feet stuck in the mud Lord have mercy on your soul Shit whiskey in a gold cup You’re immersed in it Broke every bone in your body just to fit into a box Lost touch like my pinky No more fingerprint traces It’s worse when you think that you’ve got it all figured out Never even had a doubt Then the world ends Not flat, not round It’s worse when you think that you had her all figured out Then she spit into your mouth The game won’t give no slack when a motherfucker stops putting work in I’ve seen good men lose everything From retirement pension to each hair on their head They may say make lemonade But it’s hard when your boss wouldn’t piss on the flames that engulf you Let alone give a nickel in change for your grave when the job’s through Everything everything everything’s ok Long as you live Long as you work Long as you listen Long as you pay Long as you pray Lived on top of the world in the past But who owned that world? And who profited off your broken back? Who stole your soul? “Suck it up bald baby” They’re screaming from the tip top of a skyscraper “Time is money like a Rolex wrist watch” You’re a bitch on this prison block Seems that’s there’s always gonna be A monster feasting Off the salt of the earth Imposters leeching off of weaklings That’ll eat anything they feed them freely Is freedom still a thing that you believe in? Is freedom still a thing that we believe in? I want to believe that we are more than blind complacency Call it naive or just faith in humanity “Everything’s ok”
2.
Jobs 02:03
LYRICS My friends go to jail a lot Mid 30s burning wondering what future we all got Never wanted real jobs Rather cook rocks Or kick rocks Spit quick rhymes that piss off dick cops or Kid Rock Time flies Just dissolves Flick of a wrist watch How long till my ticker stops? Will you miss me when I’m gone? 13th floor elevator song What’s your response? Ripped off by a system of sick gods False as Rick Ross And big bosses forcing farces [like] “Trickle down economics” Capital grips us all Whether we like it or not Like a virus violently entering up inside us 50 ps in a duffel bag Keep an eye out for the man Keep the Waze on Do not blaze inside the car Autobahn [automatic ban] Can’t believe Made Mami’s yearly salary in 2 weeks Fast life, baby, might be a short life What a god damn trip this life be Fucked me roughly in the Cross Club bathroom Felt like love for a minute but that wasn’t true • Castles in Praha Bridges Kafka walked on October is over They’ll say sorry for your loss There’s another emoji of a sad crying face Tasted scraps of fame and am already sick of the game.
3.
LYRICS There are some moments I want to forget Like the night I broke your heart in Vegas, I regret Everything’s costing an arm and a leg But your loss has been the biggest expense yet I’ve seen so many souls come and go from this world that my heart has grown bitter and cold Running away from the inevitable is stupid I know this Reality is a kick in the face but I’m hoping to focus Running away from the inevitable is stupid I know this But I’ve been beating up all my demons with both fists Everything’s costing an arm and a leg, and a heart and a head I’m ready for anything Waiting for this to end Another back is stabbed Back to back deaths and casual sex Acting happy while actually depressed Paint that clown face on for the audience They’ll sing along to songs about your illness Realize I never gave a fuck about success But this is the only job that I can still get before I’m past tense That’s word to my dead friends Each night feels like it might be my last show My fans party on blow while I’m crying and old and sober Trapped inside their iPhone photo folders with those ghosts of Christmas past and laughs from back before good times were over Turn on the autopilot and my answer is “No, no!” Dangle a carrot in front of me Fuck that “Yes, Yes!” Yoko Ono Get that?! Thought about sleeping on bridges in Europe but tired of living the life of an ex-pat loner My body is here but I’m dying to go home Wishing that I could feel love again but I’ve been out of control and solo Everything’s costing an arm and a leg, and a heart and a head I’m ready for anything Waiting for this to end The glory on stage don’t last enough Night after night still trying to catch that rush They’re watching me hang myself for rounds of applause Back in your town again like a half-assed Santa Claus with bags of merch at a truck stop whistling Christmas tunes at the gas pump Feel like Pat and wanna quit rap and punk Half my friends are dead from tragic accidents, bad habits and madness and the other half’s locked up If I’m ever done from an airplane crash or drugs Just call it what it was mufucka that Sad, Fat Luck Yeah That’s Sad, Fat Luck If you’ve gotta ask “what’s love?” That’s Sad, Fat Luck If you’re in a casket young That’s Sad Fat Luck And if you can’t stand this song Here’s half a fuck Been inhibited by the fact that I’m miserable and I don’t got any particular vision of living to build In the middle of critical minutes wishing to feel the finish of quitting my physical when the moments were difficult It’s ridiculous being so fucking overly cynical Insignificant Trivial When I’m really seeking pivotal change Sickening to be acting like a typical man Don’t remember the women that I’ve been sticking my dick into Fully faking the funk and I feel the fucking is pitiful What’s the apple I bit into? Is the worm or the apple more sinful? Man I’ve been faking the funk and I feel the fucking is pitiful Run Lola run Fast as you can Please start again I got the bends Somebody fix my Radiohead Without guns Without meds In reality I love you too much to want to be dragging you through mud in a Never Ending Story horse’s death I’m forced to rest Like oldest tortoises or crying Orbison Divorce your gorgeousness The most important things have been written then torn to shreds Still mourn and wish that I was born equipped It hurts us both, I think Like growth of bones - it stings.
4.
The Gospel 04:07
LYRICS Make it feel better Make it heal Make it end, please Baby, make it feel so good Make it cotton candy Oxycontin candy I want you to know right now I want you more right now I want you Maybe more than ever Taste heaven inside you By the time that I’m empty and quiet I realize what love can do It can make even tame dogs violent It’ll stare you in the face and laugh Take away your pain then bring it back It’ll kiss you on the lips so fast revert you to a kid then stab your back Told me you were searching for a God Sounded like you were giving up We can watch our bodies fall apart They can call it modern art No more need for questions All the answers packaged In a pretty pink form In a pretty red form A pretty green Pretty Papi hid you in the top drawer with the cottons and the stick pins Half dead man in a living room We were all born victims That don’t mean shit Nothing’s prettier to any human being than this meaningless existence Full of wish after wish after wish Guts all scattered on the floor, Picasso Injured bird in your palm We will all be fossils But for now, let’s feel less awful Tread lightly Walk slow That’s the gospel That’s the gospel That’s the God I want you to know right now.
5.
Daybreak 01:59
LYRICS Daybreak Break all my bones I’ll wait for them to grow Then I will crawl my way out from this hole The act of patience can be painfully slow By daybreak you’ll be on your own I had to let you go. Cuz it ain’t right to keep you floating in limbo As my life leads me onto uncertain roads There’s an oil painting of a martyr with his head served upon a plate for Kings to laugh at There’s another painting of a 30-something saint shot by arrows for his faith in one man By daybreak I will have grown old Just hope to God you know that I still loved you even when it didn’t show And I will love you after everything erodes.
6.
LYRICS (Parts 1-4) Part 1 - CORMAC On “the road” again that was a reference to Cormac McCarthy 33, still singing “Fuck the police” while the mark of the beast surrounds me through targeted marketing Awfully ominous, aren’t we? I’ma be honest with all of these zombies making a mockery out of humanity... thinking that a meme is a revolutionary strategy Please try to dream bigger than a five-inch screen I’ll fight & scream Even if they don’t hear me Never wanted to be anything better than anybody Only want to think up possibilities for everybody getting a little more free but we’re still trapped in a prison of debt because of corporate greed That’s gangster shit Keep most poor while the few stay rich They tell me “that’s how it is” But I want to believe in more than this Been a captain of a slow sinking ship Got locked up cuz a motherfucker never snitched Life can change so quick Grandpa’s gone, little brother had a kid Still singing these songs Don’t know how to quit They tell me that I got a Peter Pan complex heading to my middle age - not grown yet If growing up means settling for the least evil in a race between rats I don’t know about that I don’t know about that Wish I could take it all back. Part 2 - SxE YOUTH Was a straight edge youth with broken noses Watching friends throw away youth through overdoses We sang Minor Threat while dad smoked crack in Jersey We sang Bad Brains PMA Take It All Back Wish I could take it all back Take It All Back Wish I could take it all back. Part 3 - LION'S MOUTH Head in a lion’s mouth Oh, this silence feels so dumb We’ve lost so many times Wouldn’t notice if we won Feel sorry for me! I am a human, self-aware Please don’t ignore me! I am a human Life’s unfair (boo hoo) One by one we’ll spill our guts on the floor One by one we’ll dry up Children burst into flames on a battlefield somewhere But my insides are numb and I’m struggling to care Feel sorry for me! I am a human, unprepared Please just reward me! I am a human! You should care! Part 4 - FAILING OUR BEST Is anything relevant? Is there anything else worth mentioning? Show me your belief and I’ll question it While they’re waiting for Jesus to resurrect We’re stuck in a system that will never represent most of us residents I’m fucked and a felon Tough luck All the debt’s piled up to my neck So, what? I’ll go a little bit insane with a 9-millimeter to the brain Every other rap is another bad attempt to redefine pain Teen angst never left these veins Guess that I can’t win if I don’t pay The sting of failure never fades away But it’s all ok David Bowie’s ghost told me that we could be heroes one day Been this way since I can remember Really don’t think it’ll get much better 35 candles dripping on a birthday cake and I’m still living like a damn rebel I don’t get a boss... don’t worship any corpse on a cross... never went to temple or mosque I barely got a cause, but I still pray for the human race in my own way: every word, each song.
7.
Say No More 02:38
LYRICS Found out today, another homie hit the hay Another one bought the farm But I’m still on my D game Haven’t yet failed Came close, tasted deep betrayal But I’m still on this god damn trail even if I got Feds on my tail Oh lord Teach me differences between right and wrong Oh lord Show me that you exist at all Oh lord Teach me differences between right and wrong Oh lord Teach me how to exist at all Say no more Devil he came and he went with stench of an opiate death on his breath Some days only want to run away but the chains won’t let Not a god damn thing changed yet And I’m left with a mess on my hands I’m a wreck of a man Yolk everywhere, nest egg cracked all over the body bag Half wanna take it back Half only want more and more and Hope and a prayer won’t hold you tight when you’re cold and aware that you’re losing a fight for your life to the night Darkness is a trick and it bites like Pain, Money, Stress, Hate, Wickedness Claimed many friends Ain’t gonna pretend that AA or any religion saves in the end when an AK’s aimed at your head Oh lord Teach me differences between right and wrong Oh lord Teach me how you exist at all Oh lord Teach me differences between right and wrong Oh lord Remind me how to believe at all.
8.
LYRICS Catholic school boys rule 9 fingers to the sun Happy you’re “Woke.” I woke up fully clothed and broke as fuck So repressed that I cringe when British folks say the word cunt Systemically made us felons so we would never hold their guns Only hire shooters Never been to Hooters If this was Los Angeles in ‘92 I’d be a looter Kanye sends dick pics I send dog pics How the hell am I 36 and so fucking defiant? Swam back to the trap, noticed most trap rappers are clients Like clockwork, our country’s blessed and obsessed with ultra-violence Working in the drug world you see a lot of grown men crying I was actually born in July, most these guys are Leos, lion Touch a lot of dollars, all of it I owe to others Never wanted to fuck with crack after I saw it fuck my father This life has a lot to offer Sweet poisonous kisses from the lips of priests or devils’ daughters Precious vixen mistresses quick to spit the venom in sync with several sicknesses Severing heads with liquid sedatives Sentiments slide like sedimentary mud These fuckers won’t take me alive or touch what I’ve done They’re not breaking my prime (*was supposed to say pride but I fucked up and kept it) Man, I’m too fat to run so I’ll dive Holy fuck! Like the body of Christ inside of a nun’s cunt “No. No. No. That’s too much! You’re supposed to pose as a poet not grow into another punch-drunk-punk.” Today I’m overthinking of a population that voted for Trump Of that one time in junior high when a little boy called me skunk Because he saw my skin was light but I wasn’t white enough Thought English wasn’t my mother tongue because my family was Puerto Rican Suburban Connecticut kids laughed at a name that sounded foreign Never quite fit in with other ones on the teacher’s attendance list In California, when I was eleven they asked me to “talk Mexican.” Got so sick of explaining... eventually I just said yes “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes! That’s fine!” Everything is a test Everything falls in line, like flat ones on electrocardiographs when we die Everything is a test “I against, I against, I” In the meantime, use those brains to redefine that life Everything is a test Everything falls in line, like flat ones on electrocardiographs when we die.
9.
LYRICS Slipping my way through the cracks and I hope you don’t overreact when my body collapses I’ve been wandering hoping to find my own place on this planet I’ve been up in the middle of it I’ve been up in the middle of it In the middle earth I’ve been nothing but real with you Till the dirt Is honesty overrated? How many times have I said the same the same thing in new ways? Start to think it’s the way that my life’s gonna be and I guess that’s ok Wanted to be a grunge singer when I was child Grew up fast and wild Now the crow’s feet are crawling all over my face every time that I smile What you know about being decapitated while your body still rolls around aimlessly? Is there a way for me to face my infinite demons and maintain a sense of stability? Hustling for pennies like I was still 14 I ain’t ready to grow up “Just wasn’t made for these times ” Realize I will never blow up and that’s fine I’m not Cobain or Cornell or Layne I’m just floating inside my own lane Every word that I’m singing is plain Just hoping that someone out there can relate And there’s times when I hate my brain Want to drive directly into trees Think of 6 million ways to stop breathing when my heart is pounding from the anxiety Every year it gets sadder and fatter till the point that you realize none of it matters much For the minutes we have on this planet we’re seeking love, and that’s more than enough Call it what you want Call it God Call it your freedom That connection between living beings is a powerful thing, and that’s real to us Slipping my way through the cracks Slipping my way through the cracks And I know she don’t love me like that I know she don’t love me like that, Not the game nor the lady, maybe neither of them gonna love me back I am a middle child It took me a little while To stop tryna get the approval of others It’s better than living life in denial My worst fear’s to be middling in my nightmares I’m a kid again And my teacher is asking my chosen career I deceive her ‘cuz that’s what adults want to hear They like doctors, firefighters Not a future that’s odd like it’s Tyler’s It’s probably a sign I can’t lie through my teeth I was missing my two front incisors But now I sink my canines into sound rhymes like they steak knives Anxiety tried me, I’ve died, been revived So I’m trying to hold onto my eight lives And I cannot pretend I could handle it if I ended up in middle management Yeah I have to be fucking with something I love if I’m burning both ends of my candle stick And even then I’m a little carp busy giving birth to a great tale To my biggest fans I am Joan of Arc walking middle earth in my chain mail. Slipping my way through the cracks and I hope you don’t overreact when my body collapses I’ve been wandering hoping to find my own place on this planet I’ve been up in the middle of it I’ve been up in the middle of it In the middle earth I’ve been nothing but real with you Till the dirt
10.
Sans Soleil 05:39
LYRICS This has been an awfully costly trip Taking many parts of me with it Taken away Finished with the talking about it Most my words are hardly making sense anyway This has been an awfully costly trip but this planet hasn’t lost me yet Take it away This has been an awfully costly trip but my body hasn’t rotted yet Sans Soleil Wrote another eulogy for a friend that will stay hidden inside a notepad Never to be read On a plane, again Devastated while all these strangers are staring with mouths agape at my face, as if they pity some sort of elephant man Listening to “Love Song For Dead Che” (by United States of America) Followed by “The Requiem” Thinking of short lives How Amadeus (Mozart) was 35 when he died, yet somehow I’m alive With both feet standing Galápagos Island... where Darwin spent five weeks to be immortalized I’m only discovering ways to hide this heart pounding anxiety from my mother’s eyes I feel her sensing that I’m not fine, and she’s right She sees the creases on my forehead grow darker from feeling the cold breath of death on the back of my neck each night NaNaNa NaNaNa NaNaNa Wrote a song for Rob called “Survival Part 1” Wrote one for Maria called “July It Snowed” Can’t believe we lost you Sixo Fucking hate the fact that you never got the chance to see your beautiful girls grow Bender’s mother handed me a painting of her son smiling I miss the way he drunk dialed me to speak in Blood Meridian wildly They kicked me out of Canada Never saw him again Niles and I talked death About the times we felt numb enough to make life end A year ago he wrote he had a year left Still didn’t want to believe it when I received the text Cleaned his house spotless Fed the pets Wrote a short note Put a rope around his neck Feel bad I never wrote back about that Death Grips track I was hating, now I’ll listen back J, Bryan, AJ, Noah - Fucking smack Such beautiful art stopped dead in its tracks by track marks Figurines of sad, fat luck cats sit armless in bodegas Wish I could have saved you Wish I could have saved you all I wish I saved you Today the perfectly curated image galleries of their lives are left on social media sites Frozen in time Pretty girls on the internet ask me if I’m fine I reply “I’m alive, alright?”.
11.
LYRICS We have been broken, and we have been beaten, and we have been stuck to the bottom floor But we are focused and we still believe in the chance that the world could be so much more Our planet’s eroding but we’ll still be growing and we’ll still be growing and we’ll still be ready for anything. Ready for anything Ready for any war Top of the morning, fought my way out of a dream, I was soaring forty stories. Now I’m back on my feet and the earth is crumbling below me I can feel it disintegrating into infinite pebbles in space I can see us becoming nothing I can smell the eruption and face every minute of pain Can’t settle for psychopath leaders I want to believe in the people I want to believe we could be living equally. Call me naïve or a dreamer I want to believe in you If more of us could see we don’t need them, lived peacefully without the fucking police or a prison Without a religion, it’s faith. Alter the human condition. This ain’t rapping I’m vomiting honesty, really not promising anything Born as the type to demolish a tower then build again Fuck a minuteman Ain’t no sympathy for the devil and we’re running away from God Don’t be afraid of these laws Break them, erase them, replace it all We may be defeated, but life is too short to be stepped on and treated like cretins I mean every word of it Stop being comfortable with your subservience Permanent vermin in office are burning us all to a crisp while we’re watching our bodies ignite into flames Ain’t no fucking game Keep on living, defending each other. We’ll find a way I wasn’t born upon the fourth of July But I’m the son of a dozen soldiers soldiers and living through war all the time I thought I told ya told ya told ya I ain’t never scared But once you sobered sobered sobered I saw that it wasn’t a god damned lie So fuck it man, let us in there ain’t no heaven or hell All we really need is us and some food on the shelf A box a bullets Fuck your pulpit Fuck your power and wealth We can push it we can pull it till it topples on down Statues fall and they crumble easier than they built Ain’t no small, ain’t no humble when there’s anger and will. Yeah you stand tall if you want to but you just walkin on stilts We kick them shits You hit the bricks Are you still feelin yourself? And I’m like AYE! I see that Black Bloc and that Antifa on FRONT PAGE And I’m laughing when they sucker punched that FACE That alt-right gets goodnight and caught FADES So, expect us, respect us, or PAY.
12.
LYRICS Nothing you say Will ever be wrong 'Cause it just feels good being in your arms And I'm running with you As fast as I can Singing to myself I wanna hold your hand And we're going downtown 'Cause we feel like running around Is it really this fun when you're on my mind Is it really this cool to be in your life There's one thing I'll do If it ever goes wrong I'll write you into my all of my songs And if suddenly I die I hope they will say That he was obsessed and it was okay 'Cause we're going downtown And we feel like running around Is it really this fun when you're on my mind Is it really this cool to be in your life And I'm going crazy Crazy for you I'm going crazy Crazy for you I'm going crazy Crazy for you I'm going crazy Crazy for you For you
13.
LYRICS Getting old Balls growing longer Gandalf gray Ear hairs like Grandfather This must be the feeling of waking naked in tundra Fat bones, Miss milk and sunny summers Not a good look like me 2-day stubble Hit the king with left hooks, start a royal rumble Word to mother All my ex-girlfriends are mothers Baby brother’s having babies Still worry my mother In 1990 wanted to be Dikembe Mutombo Now I’m 5’10” something and still can’t dunk though Just grew up to be like Big Pun eating Mofongo Where my phone go? Where my fun go? Uh oh On the internet a right-winger called me cuckold Forget about it fucko Rest for a whole note This must be the feeling of being buried in rubble This must be the feeling of fleeing from certain trouble This must be the feeling of sighing out of relief before they lock you up or put your ass to sleep Tonight, I believe I am the Mohegan Sun of God Blackjack table and my cock’s rock hard Recurring dreaming of being taken out by cops Therapist told me I got some PTSD problems Dream punches never land Thrice broken arm, filled to the brim with a titanium rod Those bones never really heal, they stay splintered Not a great look like Connecticut winters Pretty for a day Shitty for a month Trying to make a buck finding new ways to say “I don’t give a fuck” What? Youth flew by faster than a pog craze Geckos and Marine world Africa USA Long gone slap bracelets ‘88 Foggy east bay Green dinosaur cake Baby when I’m gone you will miss my hairy face and the way my lips taste sipping Old Colony grape Just promise that you’ll love me like my Bona Drag tape I will always love you like my Bona Drag tape You got me through some long days when money was gone, bay Sad drives back from the casino with negative pay Listening to Phil Elverum every day Sometimes I feel as if I need to punch shitty people I have seen the Juggalo painted faces of evil I have seen a crack cookie cooking, dirty needles I have seen a glass stem hold a mini-rose through a foggy 7-11 window Behind the counter one can hear the beautiful jazzy warble of Rhodes hovering there over a shotgun fully loaded Pretty sure this music will not heal your broken bones Pretty sure this music cannot mend my broken bones They ask me what it sounds like in Europe, I don’t know Ask me what it sounds like at Christmas, I don’t know Just promise that you’ll love me like that Bona Drag tape I will always love you like my Bona Drag tape If I French kiss this gun, feel the cold steel on my tongue Picture me happy for once Remember me when I am dead and gone Hope they feed my body to a tree & not a grave Hope they send my ashes into deepest darkest space With the monkey from the cover of the Doolittle case Hope they make me into something more than more waste.

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released April 4, 2019

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Fake Four Inc. New Haven, Connecticut

Fake Four Inc. is a record label based in New Haven, CT that specializes in experimental hip hop, indie pop and anything else we like.

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